The final week. Six seemingly short weeks have come to an end – at least it feels incredibly short.
Short, though you would be led to believe it feels longer because of the amount I’ve learnt about myself. Short, because it’s felt like everything’s fallen into place.
Don’t get me wrong, I know I still have a lengthy journey ahead of me. When are we ever not learning?
Even in the last session, I was busy asking more. I was finding new areas that I needed support in. At the beginning of the sessions, I knew I wanted help in a number of areas but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was.
That was ok. You don’t have to go into workplace strategy coaching knowing exactly what you need support with. There’s no mandatory list of items you have to give to your coach at the beginning. If you do, though, that’s great. But don’t think that you have to understand the solution before you figure out the challenges.
That led to me asking on our final session if I could get help with presentations. I’ve always struggled with them. I enjoy them, but they’re nerve-wracking.
I tend to feel like I mess up my opportunity a lot of the time with:
My coach asked me ‘What do you want to achieve?’
I replied saying that I didn’t want to do these things. Or even better, have peace, in the knowledge that these things don’t harm my professionalism.
As much as I preach that these things don’t harm professionalism, I can’t apply this way of thinking to myself. There are too many skeletons in the closet for that one.
I’ve been complained about because I had a mind blank once in a presentation – and I was honest about it. They took it as a lack of understanding of what I was presenting. A reason to doubt my ability in what I was presenting.
I carried the burden that people handed to me, magically created in their minds to try to push me down in some weird game we call the ‘corporate world’.
And tried to write all the wrongs by attempting to act like my dyslexia didn’t exist.
But I didn’t actually do things that helped me. I forced myself to bend in ways my neurodivergent brain couldn’t.
A strategy was needed. And a strategy, in this session, was created.
I made some notes for my next presentation.
I think it’s also about negating imposter syndrome – understanding that you’re presenting for a reason is very grounding. You’re the subject matter expert and people want to hear what you have to say. They already have faith in you. Otherwise, why would you be presenting it in the first place?
I grew my understanding of how my dyslexia impacts me, I learnt how my brain works and it has reenergised me in the workplace.