One of the things I get asked is – what is the difference between coaching neurotypical (NT) and neurodivergent (ND) clients? Given that I provide Workplace Strategy Coaching through neurobox, the sessions are nominally focused on… work. Over the last 8 months or so, I’ve coached more than 40 clients; many of the issues that arise are related to executive function.
I always think of executive function as the babysitter, or responsible adult of the brain. Executive function controls emotional & impulse control, time awareness, working memory, planning, organising, prioritising and self monitoring. ND people (myself included) often find these things challenging. What that means in the workplace is that clients might struggle to organise their day, and judge which things to do and in what order. We might get so hyperfocused we forget to eat or drink, then wonder why our energy levels are flagging. Alternatively we can’t get going with what we need to do; there are too may other interesting things going on around us.
The good news is that there are some simple things that can help. Thinking about the day or week, are there rhythms or routines that you have? What works, and what doesn’t? How can you lean in to the good stuff? Can activities/ tasks be grouped by amount of energy or intensity of cognition, and rearranged to suit the client better? Failing memory can be supported by electronic diaries and (more or less discreet) reminders.
Having said that – there are some things that unite neurodiverse and neurotypical clients. I would say a common thread for every single client is boundaries; brilliantly explained by Michelle Elman’s book The Joy of Being Selfish. While NT clients need better boundaries, ND clients often have the added bonus of Rejection Sensitivity Disorder, or RSD. Research shows that, by the age of 10, children with ADHD potentially have up to 20,000 more negative comments than their NT peers1. As such, ND grow up extra sensitive to the fact that being their true selves is somehow socially unacceptable. In consequence, we try harder to act “appropriately”, and adapt ourselves fit the mould of approved behaviour. ND are acculturated to be people pleasers, and we take criticism very much to heart. Helping clients realise the state of their current boundaries, and how to develop them more appropriately, cuts somewhere across every client relationship I’ve had.
Then there’ s the “returning to work after how many years off”? Depending on how you count it, I’ve had around 15 years of being out of the paid employment space; some from caring responsibilities, but mostly due to ill health. A random GP appointment led to additional medication that gave me my life back, enabling me to train as a life coach, set up as self employed and pluck up the courage to approach Emma at neurobox for a job. You might have thought that over 100 hours of coaching clients by the time I applied would have given me some confidence, but… no… Apparently it’s a dyslexic thing- every day feels like the first day (automaticity – but that’s a matter for a whole another post)
It’s magic to find the sweet spot between what I can do / what I am good at/ what I can be paid for. I control how many clients I have and how many hours I do a week- given my medical history I was careful to start slowly and gradually ramp up. I’m doing what I love, I appear to be facilitating change in my clients (coach speak for “I’m not doing the work, you are”) and I am getting paid. neurobox value neurodivergent clients and my random previous employment adventures have been seen as useful assets. If I have any queries Emma / the team are quick to respond, and there’s a lively group chat among coaches. 3 years ago I’d never have believed I’d be so lucky as to be where I am today.
If you’d like to keep up with my book reviews & occasional adventures, you can find me at https://lightbluelifecoaching.wpcomstaging.com/
